This is an excerpt from my journal that I kept during my first involuntary psych hospital intake.

It was at a care center called Lighthouse, 2 hours away from where I lived with my family. I hated every second of it. A perfect example of how mental illness patients tend to get poor treatment-

Today has been a decent day, besides only sleeping for 4 hours last night as I was refused medicine for a panic attack… Anyway, I was bouncing off the walls today for the most part, soooo happy to be getting out of this shithouse tomorrow. The nurse made me change my tank top because (and I quote) ‘there was too much temptation from all the horny old men here.’ Apparently she was watching on the cameras… I laughed a little and changed into a t-shirt. It was when I found out that they had cameras in our rooms that I wasn’t laughing (CREEPY)… I spent some time outside in the sunshine today! Ahhh, you miss the little things when you get shut into a shithouse… I mean, lighthouse (HA) for days.  I love lighthouses but not this one! The way this place is run is terrible. They almost gave one guy the wrong medicine, but luckily the guy realized…(wonderful). The reviews online for this place say ‘it is the worst in the state for a reason.’ I agree! I am convinced they are only in the business for the money. The way they kick people out like old trash, try and make you go to their references (that they probably get paid for), and the psychiatrist shows up abruptly, unprepared and with only a few seconds to spare for each patient. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the so called ‘therapist,’ is actually just the girl that coordinates your intake and departure, she could give a shit less how you feel! ‘Just fill out your survey’… (PATHETIC).

Has anyone else had a traumatic hospital stay? Feel free to share!

14 thoughts on “Lighthouse

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  1. Excellent post. I have been in shit holes like that too. In one, they took me off the benzos I had been on for over a decade, and the day my arm started swinging uncontrollably and my entire body was shaking, the staff was basically like “suck it up”. I hated it – the constant group sessions, the insistence on going to certain meetings, the endless talk and talk but no progress.and the constant monitoring. I was grateful to be somewhere where I could shut the outside world out, because I was in desperate need of it at the time, but the experience, as you said, was horrid, and the minute my insurance felt I had been there long enough, I was kicked out. (And yes, I couldn’t wear tank tops either). I felt I had no support there, or when I left. I hope things are better for you now.

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  2. Yes. I’ve been in a few of these. In fact I can’t remember one truly helpful hospitalization and I’ve been in well over a dozen times; some more than once. It’s like you’re herded like cattle and treated worse. I’ve been in the hospital for other illness and it was practically a luxurious treatment.

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  3. I have had a total of 7 admissions and only 2 have been traumatic as they were at different hospitals! One was told that is was a getaway place for the rich and famous whenever they have a ‘moment’ and that the rooms were amazing and hotel like. I walked in, only 18 mind you and I was disgusted. It was small and narrow. The dining room could only sit a maximum of 30 people – it was a 40 bed hospital!!! 20 beds being for drug and alcohol patients that I had to interact with which are all coming off addiction cold turkey! The rooms were pathetic, you could here people snoring in other rooms and there was shared rooms too, in a privet hospital! I got ECT there but quickly discharged myself after 5 days as the staff were a joke, ignoring patients, talking down to them disrespectfully and just being absolute fuckers! That was my worst admission! But my first admission was a whole other trauma as I was only 16 and placed under the mental health act… No need to really continue that story as it was also in a public hospital!
    But I have learnt and found one hospital which is a miracle centre!!! I hope things get better for you! Thank you for sharing, it definitely helps to make others feel less isolated in these times!

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  4. Giiiiiiiiiiiiirl you know I did. Holly Hill in Raleigh is essentially a prison. Psychiatrists who undermine you and lie to you about when you’ll be leaving. “Counselors” who don’t help at all. I feel like I could write a book about how awful it was. Only good day was when I got to eat three ice cream sandwiches. Obviously, I have my priorities straight.

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