Never saw myself as a poet but hey, why not? I mean, let’s be honest – I’ve done and seen things that I never would have thought I would do, so what the hell!? I came across a note that I had written in my phone recently when I was upset. When I read it, it seemed to already flow like a poem. As a result, I was inspired to take my first shot at writing some poetry. Here goes nothing…
You lean in for a kiss and snuggle up close to me,
I turn my cheek as I crumble inside from things you cannot see.
You have no idea what is going through my mind,
I hate that I can’t just accept that you are being kind.
You sense me trying to push you away,
I really just want you to stay.
You can’t always put up with it and you step away,
I am drowning in a sea of thoughts and words I cannot say.
You tell me you need some time to do other things outside of my bubble,
I walk away and cry because I know I am nothing but trouble.
You don’t want to deal with me right now,
I want to take care of myself but sometimes I just don’t know how.
You know that I depend on you too much,
I am chasing a happiness that I cannot seem to touch.
You are exhausted from helping me,
I am unpredictable with my moods and what is coming next I can never seem to see.
You know me better than I know myself but you can’t fix me,
I hate myself this isn’t the person I want to be.
You can tell me all the things I want to hear,
I like to hear it but I still want to disappear.
You say that you won’t stop loving me because of this struggle,
I know that this is just too much for you to juggle.
You’ll get sick of me with no more energy to expend,
I wonder, when will this end?